Looking forward to the darkened stone walls I slowly made my way back up the long hill. Returning to the building that had once been a symbol of destruction and was now a broken tower set against the night’s misty air, like some sort of spike piercing the very flesh of the sky. The silence was only disturbed by my horse’s hooves ringing upon the contact of stone then the slight sound of sweeping wings down from the tower. It seemed like only yesterday but I know it all happened many years ago.

* * * *

I remember the day it happened as if it was yesterday, it had been a warm and sunny day. There had however been something about the dark pine trees that stretched upwards and lurched over the pathway creating a strange despondent atmosphere all around. I’d only been walking for a very short period out of the small town but could still easily tell all was not well in this forest, even the trees themselves seemed to creak and moan in the eerie whistling wind. But I thought I was brave, nearly a man, and the stories I’d been told as a child were made up just to scare young naïve children.
At first it had seemed like an honour to have been given the task to travel to the neighbouring town to deliver a message to the town council. My sister had been eager to travel with me but I had denied her company which I now saw had been a mistake; a friendly voice to break the strange noise of the forest would have been warmly welcomed. I slowly strolled along kicking a stone down the path and launched it forward. The dense patch of trees and shrubs where it had landed moved uneasily dragging the attention of my imagination towards it. The closer I got the more fixated I got upon finding the source. I wearily stopped and listened. But there was nothing. I stepped forward parting the thick green ferns with my hands. Suddenly the green plants exposed a pair of aggressive black claws swiping out at my face. It was a large raven with dark beady eyes, screeching out at full volume. I defensively stumbled back with my arms covering my face. I lost my footing and smashed my head down on a hard cold rock. As the darkness engulfed me I can only remember seeing the big black bird vigorously flapping its dark wings to the safety of a tree above me, still calling out its deafening alarm.
It was cold, very cold and I was shivering badly. I sat up and quickly put my numb hands to the back of my head and realised the extent of my injury. Running my shaking hands through my hair I could still feel wet blood on the surface of the wound which meant I needed to get back to town and get help. I moved back onto the path, or at least what I thought was the path; it was very difficult to tell at this time of night, and sat back down. Perhaps it was just the lack of blood; I had heard that people could often imagine things in such situations. I just had to focus on getting home. I stood up and started walking back towards town when I realised I actually had no idea which way it was. Every direction I looked was the same. The night had distorted everything around me, how long had I been out? Was it the night of the following day? I was getting distracted too easily; I had to get out of this place, so I just picked a direction.
I didn’t recall seeing any of the trees or bushes this way, but I decided my memory wasn’t too strong to rely on at that moment and figured any place seemed better than there so I pushed onwards. The forest was quiet, almost silent if it hadn’t been for my heavy panting. The cold, crisp, night had easily pierced through my thin shirt chilling my skin to the bone. The forest was getting denser; more and more trees seemed to stretch out their branches and scratch aggressively at my face and arms. I froze as the sound of the night was abruptly broken. It was definitely the sound of someone else, someone running. As quietly as I could, I backed into the covering shadows of a tree but just before I braced myself against the trunk of the tree a loud echoing snap sounded from beneath my foot. The running stopped. I stopped breathing and the silence engulfed me. But the sound quickly started again and this time I could tell it was leading away from me. I took a deep breath and released, but a thought quickly followed, what if it had been someone who could have helped? I had just instinctively hidden, so I decided to take a chance and follow the direction I had heard the person go. How the person had been able to move through the forest so quickly was a mystery, I struggled to keep my feet on the tangle of plants and brambles. A strong smell of smoke reached me which urged me on faster; the thought of a warm, cosy fire enticing me greatly. A high pitched scream rose into the dark night and my pace hesitated. The towering trees were growing more apart and a bright light was emerging. The smell of smoke was not just from a simple fire, but there was a building and it was engulfed in red hot flames. I stood staring at the flaming wreckage. A silhouette of a person came into view, it was a woman and she was frantically running. Then she saw me, and began to sprint. This time there was no where to hide and I stood rooted to the ground.
In the bright light of the fire I could make out her white pale face and her long ragged blonde hair. She looked thin, and her clothes old.
“Please, please” she begged grabbing at my hands. “My baby, please, I think my baby is in there, you have to help me!”
I stared blankly into her grey eyes just like my mothers had been; they were glowing orange with the reflection of the flames, time seemed to stand still, those few moments seemed to last a lifetime.
“Yes of course, I’ll, I’ll go and get help. Is it far back to town? There are people there; lots of people will help us.”
“It is just down that small clearing, but please you have to hurry, promise me you will come back and help!”
I was already starting towards the clearing calling back “just keep calm, I’ll be back”.
My heart was racing as I sprinted out of the woods towards the glowing lights of the town houses. But I could not bring myself to look back.

* * * *

Now, years later, I have finally returned. I will keep my promise and attempt one last pathetic try to regain some lurking remnant of my conscience. Maybe she was still here and her child was fine, surely they couldn’t have lived here all alone, there had to be someone else that could have helped her. I jumped down off my horse onto the forest’s ferny floor; this place had overgrown considerably since I had been here last. I hung the reins on a tall tree standing nearby leaving it to crop the long thin grass. Walking towards the large metal bolted door I could see it was still severely charred, much like the rest of the building. Not even the years of rain could wash away the darkened stain of the past.
Standing at the foot of the large building I beat my fist upon the large door, the sound stabbing out into the silence. “Hello? Is there anybody there?”
A second time I bang my fist upon the wood, but still my only reply is the echo of my own attempts at salvaging a conscience. I reached out and turned the cold door handle round, pushing the door inwards. As it slowly swung inwards it swept rubble out of the way to reveal a long hall leading onto a wide set of stairs. The roof had been burnt away and collapsed in parts allowing faint beams of moonlight to illuminate and disperse the shadows dwelling within. The once opulent carpets leading up to the stairs were barely visible under the rubble and dust that now acted as a carpet of ruins.
It was clear there was nobody here, nor had there been for a very long time but still I called out “Tell them that I came, and no one answered, That I kept my word.”
I closed the door and the shadows rejoiced forwards, the only ones living here now. Once again, standing in the silence of these woods the very same fear that had overwhelmed me when I was only a boy struck me. I swiftly climbed back onto my horse, but this time I did look back, knowing that the burden of what I had done would rest even more heavily upon my heart now.